Business success: the hidden cost
When you picture a successful small business owner, you often see the trappings of success, the nice house, the car, the holidays abroad etc. What you don’t see is the cost behind the curtain: the 60+ hour weeks, missed family dinners, weekend and evening working, and the emotional weight behind the smile of never switching off.
In the early years of launching a business, especially the first three or four, the toll on your lifestyle, relationships and stress levels can be immense. Late nights become routine and habit. Weekends blur into workdays – you’re “just catching up”. The phone never really switches off. The desire and pressure to build something lasting means personal time is often the first thing sacrificed in the hopes of business success.
The dream of freedom feels more like a cage, at least at the start.
Spouses and kids feel this sacrifice, too – often more than you realise. The subtle comments, the “can’t you just” questions, the arguments. Even when they are quiet and seemingly okay with matters, they are seething that you never switch off.
They may resent you being absent, suffer the broken plans and hate the distracted conversations. Birthdays, school events, and weekend family time often lose out to “just one more client” or “urgent paperwork”. Emotions often run high: frustration, loneliness, guilt, even resentment.
The number of failed relationships I have seen and heard of because building a business isn’t a walk in the park. It’s often 24/7 full on and stress is off the chart.
It’s never easy. I’ve been there and learnt the hard way. My son hated me not being present, my partner told me to “go get a real job!” and my friends, family and health suffered.
It’s a tension that eats away at families unless it’s acknowledged and discussed. You often carry guilt, torn between chasing the dream and being present for your loved ones. Your other half feels conflicted – proud of your achievements, but lonely in the journey.
Your kids may sense issues without understanding what or why.
There can be a light at the end of the tunnel though. If the foundations are laid right early on and sacrifices made with intention and discussion, the years of imbalance can give way to something much richer: greater freedom, financial stability, shared rewards & business success. It should not about choosing work over family, it’s about choosing short-term intensity for long-term quality of life, together.
Can you have your cake and eat it? Absolutely.
It needs a plan. Clear communication, a shared vision and a whole lot of patience, especially in those early years.
Now, the law of polarity suggests that you can’t have one thing without the other. Remember that the very people that hate you working 24/7, often benefit from the very success that those sacrifices enable. The home, the financial security, the vacations, all made possible by the workload and stress they quietly dislike.
I heard about a guy whose wife left him after two years of him working all hours and not being present. He is now travelling the world and running a multi £m business because of the hard work he put in. Maybe she wishes she had stayed around a while longer.
It can take years to be an overnight business success. But you need a plan and your team at home to be with you on the journey.
Do you agree?
If you are looking for a sounding board to help you challenge the status quo, hold you to account, or need help developing a plan to navigate your next steps proactively, it’s time to chat.
